


Queer Eye For The Undead Guy

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crossover, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-15
Updated: 2007-09-15
Packaged: 2019-02-05 18:36:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12799974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Crackfic crossover with Angel and the cast of Queer Eye - Angel gets a makeover!





	Queer Eye For The Undead Guy

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

The heavy oak doors of Wolfram and Hart's CEO office shook under a rapid pounding. Standing quickly from his chair, Angel felt behind him for a piece of the arsenal conveniently on display. His hand closed around the hilt of a mace and he lifted it from the wall, waiting.

 

He didn't have to wait long. The doorknob turned and five of the most unlikely demons burst into the office.

 

"Angel! And ohmigod, they weren't kidding, were they?" The blond in fashionably worn jeans, soft-pink "I Love NY" t-shirt, unstructured blazer with sleeves rolled to mid-forearm and Italian leather clogs shrieked. "You are an angel fallen straight from heaven, and why didn't you fall on me???"

 

"Who are you peo - "

 

A dark-haired man pushed past the vampire. 

 

"Oh, Angel, honey! And are you allergic to colour? How many shades of dull can one guy get into a single room anyway? I'm pretty sure you've got some kind of record in this one!" Thom groaned. "And what is with the 'Wall of War'? Are we trying to compensate for something or just coming prepared to the next uber-apocalypse?" 

 

"Well, actually - " Angel started to reply but several brown button-down shirts came flying by from the direction of a small closet in the corner of his office. 

 

"This is really great fabric, but most people would draw the line at twelve identical brown shirts. Show some pizzazz, develop a style of your own, everybody's wearing brown, get all fearless and sweaty and shzoosh a little!" Carson admonished.

 

((cut to friend cam)) 

 

_Wesley - the co-worker_ : "Well, I suppose a bit of colour wouldn't be amiss, only Angel isn't really a bright sort of person, is he, well, no, that's not what I meant, I meant he isn't very colourful, well, he is colourful but he isn't the snazziest dresser, well, he is, what I mean is he....." 

 

A shrill summons from the executive bathroom accompanied the cut-back to the office bathroom.

 

"Other than hair gel, I am not seeing any product here! Where's the moisturizer? Where's the sunscreen?? Don't you realize what kind of damage the sun could do to that unprotected baby-soft skin of yours? You're doing good with the hair product, but it doesn't end there!"

 

Angel shrugged, confused. "I don't really use sunscreen..."

 

"Say it with me, EVERYBODY NEEDS SUNSCREEN!" Kyan scolded. "Maybe you are never gonna age, but that's no reason to neglect your skin!"

 

Angel flinched from the arm that slipped through his, tugging him out of the bathroom. His other arm was immediately claimed by a beautiful, baby-faced boy.

 

"Okay, so you've made that first move, now you really want to impress that new girl in your life. Now Jai here is going set you up with some really good ideas for evenings staying home - or wherever, but I'm going to suggest that next full moon, you invite Nina over early and serve a few really quick little appetizers while it's still light, kinda fill her up. Then later on maybe a side of raw beef, that's up to you. So let's go over some really easy, really strong drinks that you can serve to knock her out till morning and then we'll talk about a nice, easy-to-fix, easy-to-carry breakfast that you can take down to the cage yourself."

 

"And you and I will go over some great videos to rent and just the right music," Jai chipped in. "You know, to soothe the savage beast and really get you guys into the mood."

 

"Okay, okay!! Give up the straight guy!" Carson and Kyan grabbed Angel, dragging him through the doorway and into the hall. "We've got to hurry if we're going to go shopping and still have time for the herbal facial and mud bath!"

 

"Going down!" Carson grinned, punching the button.

 

"LORNE!!!!!!!" Angel bellowed as the Fab Five pushed him into the executive elevator.


End file.
